Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Randomize
