I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
