Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
