Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
