come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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