Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
