Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
