I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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