How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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