Can i not drive my cunt home
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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