I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
