Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
