well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
