Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
