Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
