I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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