"it" just moved
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
