the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
