I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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