two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
