haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
she woke up with a sticky ear
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
