garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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