tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
