Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
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