hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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