Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
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