I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
