it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
