Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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