i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
