He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
