dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
