I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You are a genius and a whore.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
