im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
