it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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