Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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