My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
