Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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