summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
