When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
