At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
