So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
