try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
