You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
