Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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