I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
