i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
