I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
