They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
