oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
