Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
